Thankful
by Shannon C. Redfield
Summary: One-shot  Nellis! On the eve of their anniversary, Ellis wakes late in the night and smiles to himself. Nick wonders what the hell he is smiling about. Enjoy! No flaming, please!


**WARNING: **This is only meant for the real Nick x Ellis fans out there-including me! You don't like it? TURN BACK NOW!

**DISCLAIMER: **Valve owns these wonderful boys, not I. But I do however, own this story. So...bite me!

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><p>It was a little past midnight when Ellis woke up.<p>

He'd been feeling giddy for the past couple of days, but kept it low key so Nick wouldn't catch on. Once in awhile he would smile at the thoughts he was thinking, and when Nick would question it after catching a glimpse, Ellis would shrug and dismiss it as nothing. Simply stating he was just happy. Nothing more.

Tonight, the real reason was gripping at his heart and soul, and it was keeping him from getting the rest he needed. Which was okay. Ellis didn't mind. He sat in front of the bedrooms only window, looking out through the screen and enjoying the cool night air that soothed his face and arms. He kept smiling. Grinning, really. The thoughts that kept plaguing his mind returning. He stared at the trees in the backyard…at the bushes that lined the fence…the calm water in the pool…at everything. Everything he stared at, had a greater meaning at this moment. He chuckled into his crossed arms that were resting on the window sill. The giddiness returning. The stars looked especially brilliant since the weather was clear.

What he didn't notice was Nick staring at him; awake from his own slumber when he rolled over and realized that Ellis wasn't next to him. He was about to get out of bed to get himself a glass of water, when he saw Ellis sitting on the desk at the window. His feet propped up on the office chair with his arms crossed on the window sill, his chin resting on them. The moonlight illuminated the young mans smiling face—or was he grinning? Nick couldn't really tell—and he seemed deeply lost in thought. Nick thought at first that he was watching the sky for shooting stars. Until he saw his young lover chuckle softly into his arms did it confirm that it wasn't that at all.

Something else was occupying his mind.

He wasn't afraid of Ellis looking at other men that lived on the block; hell, sometimes Nick would look at some of the girls that would jog along the side of the street in the morning. But since it was past midnight, he figured one of neighbors kids was still awake and casting shadows from their bedroom curtain. Only Ellis's eyes didn't seem to be looking in that direction. Nick glanced at the clock. It was only a few minutes past midnight. What the hell was he doing up?

Nick propped himself up on an elbow. He looked at Ellis a moment longer, until he noticed a single tear trail down his cheek "El? You okay?"

Ellis quickly turned to look at him, his smile faltering somewhat as Nick's voice startled him. "I didn't mean to wake you, Nick."

"What's wrong?"

Ellis shrugged. "Nothin'."

Nick sighed. "C'mon. I'm tired of hearing that from you."

"Really, I'm fine."

He regarded him. "Why you crying, then?"

"I'm not."

"Ellis," Nick drawled. "Remember what we talked about the first week we moved here?"

Ellis sat up and wiped his face. "That we wouldn't keep any secrets from each other."

"And?"

"That it's healthier for us as a couple to talk."

Nick smiled. "So, its half past midnight and your awake and sitting on my desk and looking out the window, crying."

"I'm not cryin'!" Ellis insisted.

"Then I suppose that a drop of water just happened to fall from the ceiling and land on your face?"

"No. I'm happy, that's all. Honest."

"Ellis," Nick tried again, sitting up now. His patience wearing thin. "Talk to me. Why are you awake and crying?"

Ellis smiled and ran a hand through his hair, scratching the back of his head. He sighed and closed his eyes for a moment before opening them and looking at Nick amidst the darkness on his side of the room. "I'm just…happy. Did you know that today marks the day when we first moved here? Did you know that, Nick?"

So that's what the kid was thinking about. Nick shrugged. "No. So, what's your point?"

"That's precisely my point. A whole year!" Ellis said with enthusiasm, laughing and slapping his knee. "A whole year that we've been livin' here together. Nick, I'm happy with the way things turned out and that we're still together and in a house with a backyard, a pool—not to mention the patio with that Jacuzzi you love so much—and all this fencing…and the freedom we finally have." He laughed again and rocked a bit on the desk. Nick admired still the moonlight that made half of Ellis shine. Ellis looked outside and shook his head, leaning again on the window sill. "It's been a wonderful year. We have a great house, great neighbors—you got to see your niece again and meet her friends and meet the man she's gonna marry…I got to see Zoey and them—you and me have jobs that we're both proud of…aw, Nick. It's just so perfect! Absolutely perfect!"

"But?"

"But what?"

"There's always a but, Ellis."

Now Ellis shrugged. "I can't think of anything that I'm missin'. Oh, did you know that Louis recently told me how much Rochelle—" He stopped suddenly. The smile that he had been wearing proudly disappearing and being replaced with one of sadness. His hand came up and covered his eyes, as if ashamed of what he just said. "Holy shit," he seemed to whisper into the night air.

Nick was sliding out of the bed towards him. Ellis was trembling and his skin was cold to the touch when Nick took him into his arms as the young man started to cry. "It's okay, El." Nick soothed, kissing the top of his head. "Christ, your cold." He was afraid the past memory would come back to haunt them. Especially Ellis.

"It's just not fair," Ellis said against Nick's chest. "We get to live in this place and have all these great things and…and…" He hiccupped, sniffling.

Nick caressed his back. "I was hoping Louis wouldn't say anything to you. I know how much he loved her." Ellis started to sob, which made Nick hold onto him tighter. It had been a very long time since the incident involving Rochelle's death, where she gave her life to protect Ellis's when Nick couldn't even get to him. He never forgot the look of terror on his face as Ellis, unarmed from when the Smoker grabbed him and dragged his body several feet away from the group, was only moments from death when from out of nowhere, a Tank suddenly had him cornered.

They ran into the other three survivors that they only met just a week or so earlier. In the short time they reunited, it became apparent that Louis and Rochelle were falling for each other. Much like Nick and Ellis, they were connected at the hip.

Until she got in the way of the Tank.

Ellis never forgot her scream. The way it attacked her and went after her once she became the main target—the way she pushed Ellis to safety, unintentionally shoving him down a nearby hill when he lost his footing. Nick and the rest of the gang witnessed the whole massacre as Rochelle's life came to an end. Ellis, who by then was hanging onto dear life by a bush, could hear her screaming in agony before she was silenced and the Tank killed. He yelled out her name in despair. Then the bush gave way and he slid down the rest of the hill.

He was unconscious by the time he hit the bottom. Once the gang figured out how to get to him—Zoey stayed behind when Louis began to grieve—Nick was the first one to get to him, afraid that the fall badly hurt him. He and Francis carefully carried him back to the safe room until Ellis woke up screaming in the dead of night; the event of what happened becoming his worst nightmare. He wouldn't stop screaming for nearly five minutes. The sound of it drove everyone insane, but for Nick it was the worst. The guilt of it was the heaviest, since he blamed himself for leaving Ellis's side without telling him in order to go help Francis with an elusive Boomer. When the Smoker grabbed him and Louis ended its life with a bullet in-between the eyes…Nick should've been with him. Rochelle would've been alive and Nick was sure the Tank would of gotten him instead of her, if only he'd stayed by Ellis's side.

Ellis was slowly starting to hyperventilate, covering his ears as if attempting to block out a certain sound that wasn't welcome. The past incident playing through his mind starting to take its mental hold on him. Nick hoisted him off of the desk and made him stand, holding his lover's face in his hands. "Ellis, look at me."

The young man shook his head.

"Ellis," Nick insisted, shaking him a bit. "Open your eyes and look at me. Look at me!"

He did. His beautiful eyes wide and terrified. Nick grabbed his hands and gently guided them off his ears. He stared into his eyes. "I can hear her," Ellis's voiced cracked. His trembling continued and he had a far away look to his expression. "I can hear her…oh God I can hear her!"  
>"Stay with me, Ellis." Nick pleaded. "She gave her life to protect yours. You did nothing wrong." Ellis started to shake his head again and it took some strength to keep his hands away from his ears. Nick wouldn't allow Ellis to shut down again like he did before, when only the first week of them being in their house—Nick's really, since Ellis moved in—Ellis had another nightmare. He wouldn't talk to Nick for nearly two days. He held his lover's face in his hands and kept him focused. A new tactic was in order. "Keep talking—what else are you thankful for? What else makes you happy to be here?"<p>

Ellis closed his eyes for a moment. Which seemed a moment too long for Nick's liking, until he opened them and that far away look disappeared. "To be with you, Nick." New tears started to fall down his boyish face. The face that Nick fell for so long ago. Ellis swallowed as if afraid to continue.

Nick wiped his tears away with his thumbs. "What about me makes you happy?"

"Everything." Ellis relaxed, his shoulders nearly slumping. "You didn't turn me away once we got here. I honestly thought you were, until you invited me to stay so we could continue our lives together."

"Because I love you," Nick smiled. "Ellis, you're the best thing that ever happened to me. Don't you ever and I do mean _ever, _forget that. You are the reason I fought so hard each and every day in order to make it back here. I wanted you to live with me; the last thing I would ever do…is turn you away. You are my _life,_ you understand that? You are my heart and soul. You talk about being thankful and happy for the way things turned out for us and I agree. Only…" Nick laughed as hints of his own tears were evident in his eyes. The sight made Ellis's heart flutter and he held Nick's face in his own hands.

"Tell me, Nick." He encouraged.

The older man opened his mouth to speak, yet couldn't find the words. He was enjoying Ellis's comforting touch and the fully focused expression of having his attention. They touched foreheads and Nick snuck in a quick kiss. "As you said," he tried again. "It's everything. Not a day has gone by when I don't thank the lucky cards in the deck for having met you and gotten to know you better. To be able to bring you here and have you start a life with me, is a dream come true." His expression changed and he pulled away from Ellis.

Ellis was taken aback. "Nick, what's—"

He held up a hand to silence him. "Wait here a sec." He walked out of the bedroom and down the hall, his footsteps thumping down the stairs. Ellis took a moment to compose himself and cleaned his face off, a bit embarrassed by what Nick told him but happy all the same that at least he was being honest with him.

It was sweet.

Soon Nick was coming back up the stairs. "I was gonna save this for later, but there's no time like the present, right champ?" Nick took a deep breath and let it out slowly, looking into his lover's face. He wanted to remember this moment for the rest of his zombie-free life. "Ellis, I can't tell you how much I love you because you already know; and I can't promise to always protect you and keep you safe from harm because I've already proved that I can and always will be there for you…but I can ask you one thing…"

And right there, late at night on the eve of their one year anniversary of living together and being illuminated by the moonlight, Nick got down on one knee and withdrew a small black box from behind his back. He looked up at Ellis's now shocked and opened-mouth face. "Ellis, you've made me the happiest man alive, and through the best and worst of times, your always there to make me laugh and smile—" he opened the box to reveal a solid silver band "—and so I ask; will you do me the honor of marrying me and making me your husband?"

At first Nick was afraid that Ellis would reject him since it suddenly seemed too quick on account of Ellis's near break-down. Until the young man smiled broadly and nodded very eagerly did Nick feel the relief he was hoping for.

"You bet your ass, Nick!"

Nick took Ellis's hand and slid the ring on. He stood and scooped him up into his arms, kissing him passionately. Ellis wrapped his legs around Nick's waist as they fell onto the bed, laughing with joy.

"Oh, wait a minute." Ellis reached out and grabbed something from under his pillow. He also produced a small black box and opened it to Nick. The older man couldn't believe that it was the exact same ring only made of gold. "Do me the honor of makin' me your husband?"

Nick laughed and kissed him, allowing Ellis to put the ring on his finger. "And you bet your sweet ass that I will."

They stayed like that for moment longer, admiring their new rings before tumbling about on the bed. The horrible incident from over a year ago forgotten. Personally, Nick had wanted to do it later on in the day since he played it dumb at not knowing their anniversary. But since he didn't want Ellis to go back to bed with a heavy heart, it made Nick improvise. He couldn't think of being with anybody else.

Nick made love to Ellis that night. Talking sweet and dirty words about pleasing their new husbands—it fueled the passion like nothing else, especially when Ellis told him that he wanted to take Nick's last name. Their final release was total bliss.

Ellis was thankful for the new life that he and Nick were sharing.

Nick was thankful that he had Ellis in his life in which to share things with.

They were thankful for the next part of their new life together, in which a bond that was formed over a year ago, would be sealed with vows and a kiss.


End file.
